Bonnicle on Ice

As many Americans are aware, we are under attack. The "Canadians" are under the false pretense that they are better hockey players than us AMERICANS. Let me make one thing perfectly clear... Had we known it was going to be this close of a game, we would have unleashed our real team, with our star player - BonGretzky.

Us Americans didn't think that we would have to pull this out on the inferior Canadians so soon, but get ready Sochi 2014, because BonGretzky is coming! She's a one man team that leaves the net open at all times of the game. No need for a goalkeeper, sorry ryan miller. But BonGretzky has no use for you anymore, just like the jazz and Ronnie Brewer. R.I.P....

In four years when you need your hockey fix again, look no further than on our own American soil, for BonGretzky will be bringing home 3 Golds. Wait, 3? YOU HEARD RIGHT! Two in men's and women's hockey, and one in Ice Sculpture Gardening.

Boncerely,

BonDipLuvr_108

It's About Love...

"It's About Love" the slogan of LDS Adoption Agency. It is indeed about love.
Bonnie Tingey took me under her wing and adopted me
years ago. Mostly at the urging of my own wonderful mother,
Ruth. She asked Bonnie to help out because I was too much to handle
and Bonnie has a way of taming wild horses. So as my own tribute to my
adopted mother, Bonnie the Great- what better way to show her that I care
than a Bonnie Word Search? Words will be in all different directions- even
backwards! I could supply the list and let you look, but where is the fun in that?
Words or phrases that either describe Bonnie, people that Bonnie loves- political figures and
celebrities, things that Bonnie enjoys doing, watching....

At least 28 things to find (In that Bon has been a magnificent mother for 28 years)

Hit the print button, grab your highlighter, and you are SET !!!

(*Helpful Suggestion- Time yourself for kicks)

Happy Mother's Day Bonnie! I LOVE YOU !!!! - Baby G. Fish





H J I M Q E R E P U B L I C A N P W E R D
M J K L L K S E D F A U D R E Y L I Q W E
C O S T C O N E W G Y U H S E K Z D W W
L V W F T L F R G A R Y C O L E M A N Y
R B T E W A Z B A B Y G I R L F I S H P X
C S B E S T G R A N D M A E V E R F W T
O G L E N N B E C K S W B E F K C X L M
O K D W C R E A J H C I L W T R V M Z W
K J E S C B J I Y L N I A C C M N H O J E
I L B T D E O S T E P H E R S O N G W P
N F P E W E R T Y J U G F S Q I J B C Z S
G E F R I G H T W I N G E A V S C P H I K
G O R G E O U S S A S S Y F U N J J J J J
M E H M E T O K U R N W Q H A P P Y H
F S E M A J T O W A S T L M N K A T H M
U H S U B W E G R O E G I W F V D E M N
N R O B D I E S E L H W S T R S W E E T
J A Z Z J A R R O N J S L O J E F F H N B
Y U I B R I N G I N G S E X Y B A C K E V
E W N J Y U F G C S M I C H A E L B H F
S I R R O N K C U H C E G T D E C D S W E
T Y D E F G H I K S H O P P I N G E W E R
G J Y T R E F V G B H N J F D S W E R T Y
K L P O Q W B H M A K I N G J E W E L R Y
F T Y U I O M B X D F E L Z S W E T Y U H
R T Y G H U I D B F T K N M B W A F E R V
D F E R T H G F A S E D W E J K N C E R T
H F T R D H E I O P B H K X E T H F I H N

Bonnouncements for April 2009

By way of Bonnouncement, there are some things going on in the life of The Bonnie that can no longer go untold.

1) The Bonnie has defied the laws of science by bringing another life into this world, in the form of her granddaughter Audrey "the Tank" Tingey (look out NFL, here she comes)

2) World renowned Bonnie-Blogger Bonfireoflove made a little Bonnieblog history by becoming the first Bonnieblogger ever to be all state in basketball and blogging... Congratulations are in order. As a side note, for making all state in blogging he was able to use the same computer that the Bonnie types on. For making all state in basketball, he was allowed to walk on the same court Jarron Collins plays on... you tell me which you'd rather have

3) Head Coach Jim Calhoun personally called the Bonnie on her cellular telephone to invite her and Rob Diesel to be his guests at the sweet 16 in Phoenix. I'll be honest, Calhoun isn't a name I trust, and at first I was skeptical of his motives (especially in light of certain NCAA "infractions" that his team is dealing with right now) but it turned out that it was on the up and up, and the Bonnie enjoyed a lovely weekend of basketball, sun, and nachos.

4) The Bonnie also celebrated the 26th anniversary of the happiest day of her life... the day she became a "real" parent. Again, congratulations are in order.

5) The Bonnie celebrated her 30th wedding anniversary with Rob Diesel, which, coincidentally, is also the 30th anniversary of the death of all the hopes and dreams of millions of Bonciples who had held out hope of someday marrying the Bonnie themselves.

6) The Easter Bonnie came to town, delivering untold amounts of good tidings, good cheer, good spirits, warmth, kindness, reminders of the true spirit of easter, and chocolate. All those who were touched by her generosity, may join with me in extending a giant BonnieBlog thank you to her for her time, effort and sacrifice in making this the best Easter since last year.

Before you start commenting and telling me that there is no way that there are only 6 Bonnouncements, let me tell you that I know this already. 6 Bonnouncements is a slow Tuesday for her. I just wanted to fill you in on the 6 most relevent and life altering from the past few weeks. If I had time, all the time in the world, I would attempt to Bonnounce all the great things that she has done, but even then it wouldn't do her justice, so I choose to stop at 6.

The Bonnie Blog is Back and Here to Stay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My fellow Bonnie Bloggers as you know the Bonnie Blog has been in a recent drought and we should all be ashamed of this. Our beloved queen of the blogging nation deserves much better than this. So I make this official announcement...The Bonnie Blog is back and it will never go away again!

So now let us discuss what has happened to Bonnie since the last post. As you all know Bonnie has become a proud grandma. Lets just say Audrey is the luckiest granddaughter in the world, because she gets to have Bonnie as a grandma. She will be showered with gifts and love from the angel herself. And just an example of how good of a grandma Bonnie is, she already has Audrey talking to her, who by the way is only 1 month old. How this is possible I don't know but every time Bonnie sees her Audrey somehow said hi to me. The only explanation for this is the sweet love of Bonnie.

Also Bonnie finally got to meet her long lost soul mate Lois. How the earth didn't explode after the awesomeness of this event I will never know. Sparks flew from the instant there eyes met. They were practically hugging the entire game as they cheered their sons/grandsons to victory. They even discussed show ideas for the future greatest show on tv BLT(premier date TBD). With Bonnie's cooking and Lois' gardening millions of lives all over the country will be changed.

Bonnie also bought Wii fit and proceded to play downhill ski slalom for 3 strait hours and by the way set the high score. Even though she hasn't played since this lesson of persistanse to be the best you can be can teach us all a valuable lesson.

These are just a few of the events in the exciting adventures of Bon Bon. Let us all show her our love through blogging!

BonJamesBon

Craving Seafood ?

Let us REJOICE. It is most assuredly a joyous day. JAMES TINGEY IS ANOTHER YEAR OLDER. Mike Tingey and Churck Norris are also celebrating their half birthday today. Robert's birthday is steadily approaching. And, I have my hands on a rough draft of a forthcoming press release:

Fish Swims Home

WASHINGTON, D.C - Secretary of the Interior Dirk Kempthorne today announced the removal of the elusive Southern Polka-Dotted Color Coordinated Fish from the list of threatened and endangered species at a ceremony at the Jefferson Memorial in Washington, D.C. After nearly disappearing for the summer, the Southern Polka-Dotted Color-Coordinated Fish hopes to be flourishing in the Beehive State soon/hitting up WC Country Club, and no longer needs the protection of the Endangered Species Act.

"Today I am proud to announce: the SPDCC Fish will soon return," said Secretary Kempthorne. "In 1999 Utah became home to one Southern Polka-Dotted Color-Coordinated Fish. Today, after a summer of conservation effort, thanks to a touching blog entry that included scriptural references on July 14 entitled "Gone Fishing" by Stephanie and Bonnie, and in honor of James Tingey’s birthday, the SPDCC Fish is on it’s way home soon. Based on its dramatic recovery, it is my pleasure to announce the Department of the Interior's decision to remove the SPDCC from the Endangered Species List."

"After years of careful study, public comment and planning, the Department of the Interior and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service are confident in the future security of the SPDCC Fish," Kempthorne said. "From this point forward, we will work to ensure that the fish never again needs the protection of the Endangered Species Act."

How I have missed you all...you have NO idea. It's been an "interesting" summer. Speculation has it that I have spent my summer doing the following:

1) I was filiming a spin-off of Flavor of Love/Rock of Love called Serenade of Love starring Michael Bolton. I received a "cool" nickname like Southern Belle or Palmetto State Playa or Diva Phish. At the end of each show if Michael wanted you to stay he would sing a ballad and ask you if you would accept a lock of his hair...tune in this fall

2)I was filming the spin-off "Phresh Princess of Irmo,SC" Production was at a stand still because casting was unable to fill the role of a 3rd Aunt Viv. The theme song was going to be off the chain.
The twist of the show was that we were going to make the butler white

3)I was in Beijing as Michael Phelps towel girl/goggle handler. Rumor has it I was also the real "Artichect" of the "Redeem Team." Everyone knows that isn't true because JarBear would've played for the team had I designed it, and it would've been more like Coach J rather than Coach K... What is allegedly true is the Gasol brothers asked if I wanted to touch their silver medals but I was all "thanks but no thanks" only I said it in Chinese to really drive my point home. ( I did give the hairy Gasol Steph's phone number) Manu started to approach me but his medal looked more like he was wearing a bronze coin candy wrapper with chocolate inside on a string.

4)I was on the new MTV show Exiled. Where brats are sent to dramatic, far away, third world places to appreciate what they have/rough it. I was sent to exotic New Jersey. The culture of crazy accents, abrasiveness, overdose of fake tanning, and uncalled for hostility really made me realize just how I great I have it back home. I was just grateful they didn't send me to Boston.

5)Everyone knows I like to nanny it up. When CBS approached me to film my own version of "Supernanny"- "Superfly Nanny" I had to jump at the chance. Especially in that the twist was that I would nanny in Alaska for Sarah Palin's family while she is on the campaign trail. Moose hunting is NOT as easy as she makes it look. My bumper sticker does in fact read "I'm a hockey nanny"

6)I was asked to manage Gary Coleman's career/get it back on track. I was fired for all the negative attention he's gotten in the press lately with the bowling alley incident. I'm thankful that Bonnie's delicious GC reconciliation brownies would not have to be incarceration brownies that would have to be enjoyed on the other side of a glass window.

7)I have also heard an array of rumors/reasons for my absence: I'm Catholic/Jewish/Lutheran/ a Quaker now and my family kicked me out, (For future reference my fam would only kick me out if I was JW- just kidding) I'm a nun, I'm engaged, I'm pregnant and not married, I'm married and pregnant, I went goth, I took a vow of silence over the summer, I was hurt when I wasn't selected to be apart of VH1's celebreality to appear on I want to work for Diddy,I've been on jury duty for a high profile case, I'm ashamed to admit I'm an intern for the Tyra Banks show, I've been entering Guitar Hero/Rock Bank contests in malls across the country, I was trying to get Irmo, S.C. it's own NBA team after Seattle backed out of the deal, I was so devasated the Spurs didn't make it to the Finals that I moved to San Antonio to find myself, I'm at Sam Cassell's summer training camp, James broke up with me, I needed solitude while writing the screenplay to Tyler Perry's diary of a mad white woman, I'm opening up pennycades across the nation to try to put all nickelcades out of business, I'm in rehab, I'm in jail, I'm getting ready for auditions for So you think you can dance and ABDC, I'm engaged to a 70 year old man... not that there is anything wrong with that, but we all know I like younger men/a younger man: (JAMES)

Bottom line, I miss you ALL more than words can say. I will be so happy/delighted/thrilled/overcome when I do get to see you all again. Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Birthday James!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish we could celebrate/renew our vows at the Hollywood Connection tonight. (I hope you are working on the Playlist: Slow Jamz 2)

p.s.- Bon I tried so hard to blog on your birthday but my internet failed me :(

(Does anyone know why JarBear wasn't chosen to be on Dancing with the Stars? Tom Brady sure blew his chance)

(R.I.P to all the great people we have lost this summer, Bernie Mac, Isaac Hayes, Estelle Getty...just to name a few)

The Chronicles of Bonnia: The Bonnie, the B$^%@, and the Rice Krispies

Bonnie lovers I am writing this to tell you of a magical place. No not the bachelor pad, I'm talking about Bonnia! A place where the oceans are filled with Perrier, the streets are made of fudge, and sweet rolls grow on trees. You enter every time you eat exactly 1000 krispies of Bonnie's world famous rice krispie spectaculars. And somehow a certain middle aged hoodlum 3 doors down(refer to glossary) found out this sacred information. And this is where the story begins.

It was a beautiful night at about 2 in the morning. And the B$^%@(lets just call him AM) thought this would be a perfect time to be on the prowl and pounce to steal some BRK(bonnie rice krispies). But little does he know at 2 Bonnie's night had just begun. She finished making BRK and was just about to start gardening, then was going to bake some heavenly sweet rolls, might I add what a SAINT! AM was currently hiding on the side of the Tingey household waiting the Bon Bon to finish gardening. He smelled the BRK and knew he had to get in soon. So he made a desperate move and snuck in through the back door. And tragedy was about to strike. AM had his hands on a whole batch of BRK. And he began to devour them like the scoundrel he is. He made it to 600 krispies and Bonnie's bonsenses began to tingle. She quietly made her way back in the house and saw AM in action. Then a great idea came to her. Luckily she always carry some extra Bondip with her. And every one knows that if an unworthy person eats the heavenly Bondip they melt and their spirit is trapped forever in the wizard school Bonwarts. But time was running out, AM had picked up the pace and was on his 950th krispie and didnt look like he was slowing down. So Bonnie sprung into action and flung some Bondip toward AM. AM being so committed to reaching the magical land of Bonnia didn't notice it and the Bondip landed right in his mouth. He never stood a chance against the almighty Bonnie. He will forever be haunted in Bonwarts. Now the W.C. is once again safe, thanks to my home girl Bon Bon.

Boncerely,

BonJamesBon

Late August Bonnouncements

The staff and I have a few bonnouncements to make before it's too late.

First and foremost, we'd like to bonnounce that the Bonnie has been called to serve in the Bishopric of a student ward at the U. This is significant for 2 reasons. One because, well... not that many women get called to serve in the Bishopric, but we all not that the Bonnie is not just any woman. The second thing is that, upon finding out that the Bonnie was now working for the U, Thomas S Monson (T-Mons as we like to call him) renounced the church's claim on BYU because the Bonnies arrival at the U makes the U the Lord's annointed school.

Our second bonnouncement is that, as part of her welcome into the new ward, the Bonnie will be speaking in her new ward this coming Sunday!!! Come one, come all and hear the Bonnie speak the truth to our undeserving ears.

That is all